Sobriety is for the birds

I miss alcohol. I miss the warm, fuzzy feeling of being mildly intoxicated. I miss just how good that second glass of wine is. I miss that iced cold beer on a hot summer day and that dry peppery red with my medium-rare filet.

Because of this, I've taken to smelling my husband's alcoholic drinks. Not just a casual whiff, mind you. No. Instead, I've found myself gently, but deliberately grabbing the beer bottle, pressing my nose just ever so slightly against the mouth of the bottle and deeply inhaling. It is a glorious smell. At some point I reluctantly release my grip as he's prying it out of my hands set the beer bottle back down on the counter, sigh and walk away. I feel I've been a pretty good sport about this whole sobriety thing. God knows my pregnancy has not put a crimp in Brian's enjoyment of alcohol. Well, perhaps I have a put a crimp in his actual enjoyment of alcohol (as my big sad eyes bat at him begging the question "don't you feel mildly guilty drinking that in front of me?"), but his habits haven't changed in the slightest.

Because I'm a masochist and really enjoy torturing myself, I'm keeping a list of all of the upcoming events at which I cannot drink. They include: Various summer parties, cook-outs, fundraisers, and the ENTIRE upcoming football season. The several upcoming weddings we have been invited to. My birthday. Thanksgiving Eve and Thanksgiving Day. Christmas. New Year's. Did I mention the ENTIRE upcoming football season??? How will settling into the couch on a lazy Sunday afternoon, with the game on, while my husband complains that I'm wasting the afternoon on stupid football is off building something because he can't sit still for more than 20 minutes to save his life, ever be the same when I can't drink BEER? How will GOING to the game on a glorious fall afternoon be satisfying when I can't enjoy that $12 draft while simultaneously medicating myself so as to tolerate the other drunk fans and/or Bills' loss? Maybe I will have to buy one and just resort to smelling it for the duration of the game. Because that wouldn't be weird at all.